Do you ever find yourself amused (and amazed) by peoples' white trash antics?
Sure you do.
Southern Fried White Trash takes a humorous look at the unbelievable mindset of the national subculture (and Southern specialty) we affectionately refer to as "white trash."

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Whole food does NOT mean the entire package

I met with my nutritionist this morning, immediately following my workout. Not sure why I scheduled it that way: I suppose I thought sweating and panting might make me look thinner. It's been at least 6 months since I met with Rachel. She's a genius; she's the only person who could get through to me that nutrition is a life change, a lifestyle, not the fad of the week. She taught me valuable lessons like, "Eat whole foods whenever you can, preferably all of the time." When I first began meeting with Rachel, I wasn't really clear on what "whole" foods were. I thought in some vague, unused portion of my mind, that whole food was the entire package, not just a portion of it. Turns out I was wrong. She taught me about portions, number and size, and about just plain common sense. Truthfully, she changed my life.

I flew solo for the latter part of 2010, confident that I had internalized all of Rachel's lessons and sure that I could manage my behaviors thank-you-very-much. Again, turns out I was wrong. I am still amazed at how strongly emotions govern our food intake. And by "our," I mean all of us lucky folks who eat when we're happy, sad, bored, stressed, or just awake. No, I think there's actually a subgroup of us that eats during sleep. Yikes. I don't think I'm a part of that group, but would I know if I were?

Anyway, I walked into Rachel's office this morning, trying desperately to suck it in and look toned all at once. I sheepishly looked at her, prepared for the look of disapproval she'd surely throw my way when she saw how I had let myself go to complete and utter ruin. All she did was to get up, hug me and invite me to sit down while I explained the reason for my visit. "What?" I thought in disbelief. "Is it possible that she really doesn't see that my rear end has spread into the neighboring zip code? Is it possible that she can't tell I slacked on my workouts for nearly an entire month?" I was pleasantly relieved.

"Well," I stammered. "I think I just need to tweak my habits a bit, get my perspective back in line," I lied to her face. Actually, I was there because I spent an entire half hour yesterday looking online for a whole, organic Snickers bar. No such thing, by the way. I was way off kilter and had to be snatched back into the real world. So she and I sat there in her office for about a half hour. She didn't tell me anything I don't already know; she just reminded me, reviewed the basics with me. I left feeling much better.

For those of you who need a refresher course but don't have time to meet with Rachel, take a look at these few pointers:

  • WHOLE foods are those that come from nature, not a processing plant. Free-range chicken, no steroids or hormones, is a whole food. Chicken-in-a-Biskit crackers…not.
  • Any time CHEESE is spelled with a "Z" in a food product, it's not really cheese (e.g. CHEEZ-Whiz, Cheezits).
  • "All natural ingredients" labeled on a package of food does NOT necessarily mean that the food is good for you. Chlorine is an all-natural product. So is animal fat.
  • The louder the package crackles, the worse the food is for you. Ever try to sneak potato chips? It sounds like static electricity in a megaphone, run through concert speakers.

There. I just saved you about $100.


  1. LOL!!!! Freaking funny. In my case, true too. Hang in there girl!

  2. Thanks Carole! I think we all could use a refresher at the beginning of the year, Im trying to get motivated myself and get back on track. I'll be working on it...


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