OK so I just finished reading the findings of a study recently conducted regarding education. The conclusion – are you ready for this – is that regular attendance in school is crucial to a student's success. Wow, I wish I had known that before now. Our youngest is graduating next month. This information would've really been useful.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Do parents really need to be told that their kid should go to school if he/she is to learn anything??? Who are the people that are reproducing and don't have that knowledge? I have a better idea for a study – one that involves parents having to pass some sort of a test before being allowed to procreate. I'd also like a study done to find out how much this first study cost taxpayers.
I'll save the school system and maybe even the US government some money right here and now, so get ready to take notes:
- Kids have to eat in order to live and maybe even grow. It's probably wise to throw in some liquids every now and then while you're at it.
- Experts agree that you should not allow your small children to keep poisonous snakes as pets. It's also a really bad idea to let them have constrictors and such, as your child may be mistaken for prey.
- You should try not to let your children drink, smoke or use illegal drugs until they're old enough to earn an allowance. These habits can get really expensive.
Wow. That's all I'm saying.