It's here again, Christmas in May for Moms. I love Mother's Day. My family spoils me rotten, and for at least one day out of the year, they go out of their way to make sure I know that they get it. That they got ALL of it - the teaching, the admonishing, the guiding and most of all the loving.
I've raised a couple of very good kids. Well, my husband and I have. And no, my husband is not their biological father. I can't tell you how many sleepless nights I've spent worrying that my divorcing their father would somehow screw up my children for the rest of their lives. It's a tough position to be in, and I will be the first to say, divorce is awful. Horrible. I do not recommend it unless NOT divorcing would be more harmful. In our case that was true, so I made the difficult decision to leave about 15 years ago, and I've never looked back.
I am happy to say that my children (now 19 and 21) are OK. Would I have preferred they be spared that nightmare? Yes, without a doubt. But I am a better mother and (I believe) their father is a better father under these circumstances. And I will also say that bringing my husband into the picture has only benefitted us all, and I mean immensely.
It can be done. It takes at least twice as much work, but raising well-adjusted children out of divorce can be done. My sincerest recommendation, however, is that no one marry until you're 30. What on earth does any of us know before then? And 30 may be cutting it close, but we women are on sort of a tight schedule with respect to reproducing, so we'll let 30 stand. And if your mama has given you a "marrying material" checklist - and this applies to men as well as women - copy it. Laminate the copies. Stick one on your fridge, one on your car visor and one on your headboard. She knows what she's talking about.
Do you ever find yourself amused (and amazed) by peoples' white trash antics?