Do you ever find yourself amused (and amazed) by peoples' white trash antics?
Sure you do.
Southern Fried White Trash takes a humorous look at the unbelievable mindset of the national subculture (and Southern specialty) we affectionately refer to as "white trash."

Monday, February 14, 2011

A tale of love lost

I hesitated as to whether to blog today about the big V. Valentine's Day. You either love it or you hate it. I happen to be a fan of it; any excuse to buy my family little presents and get showered with goodies myself is a good excuse. I do, however, realize that not everyone is a fan of Cupid's Big Day. I love a good laugh though, so I'm going to share with you one of my all-time favorite Valentine's Day stories.

Several years back, my then brother-in-law was embroiled in a hot, steamy love affair. The woman reminded me a lot of Glenn Close. Oh not so much in appearance, but in deeds. Deeds pulled straight from the script of Fatal Attraction, to be more precise. This woman was a nut job rolled in a froot loop tied up in a straight jacket. Scary, on a good day. And my brother-in-law, God rest his soul, was not the sharpest tack in the pack. He just wasn't.

He and Glenn dated off and on for a couple of years,. She was either constantly plotting his murder or begging him to move in with her, depending on whether she'd had her medication that day. Finally, my brother-in-law acquiesced, and the wedding plans commenced. What he didn't know, and what none of her personalities had shared with him, is that she was married and had no intention of leaving her spouse.

As the big day approached, plans became more frenzied, as wedding preparations do. Glenn had told my bro-in-law that she had one little loose end to tie up, and she had to go to the courthouse to do it. Later that same evening, as my daughter and I walked through the mall, the bro-in-law, who was a hair stylist at the same mall, called out to me and pulled me and my daughter aside, He was absolutely beside himself, panicked and heartsick. "What's wrong?" I asked him with geniune concern. He looked as though he might need to sit down, so we found a bench.

"(Glenn) went to court today. She was afraid to tell me, but she's married. She had to go to court to get a divorce. But the judge told her that she had been tricked into signing a document that said she could never, ever divorce her husband because he's crazy." He was absolutely devastated. And he believed her.

I stood there, shaking my head and thinking to myself, "HE'S crazy? You and Glenn are in a runoff buddy." And so ended another epic love story.

My daughter, who was only 7 or 8 years old at the time, had the sense to ask me, "Mommy, what's wrong with him?"

I guess there truly is someone for everyone out there.


  1. This can't be true.

  2. You're funny. Gonna subscribe right now! My friend told me to check out your blog weeks ago and just got around to it! Keep it up!


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