Do you ever find yourself amused (and amazed) by peoples' white trash antics?
Sure you do.
Southern Fried White Trash takes a humorous look at the unbelievable mindset of the national subculture (and Southern specialty) we affectionately refer to as "white trash."

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Perpetual mistletoe

It exists! It must! Just today, I saw proof of it with my own eyes. I was shopping in my favorite membership mega-store, trying to focus on my list of party supplies and Christmas gifts, when out of the corner of my eye I saw a two-headed person. It's not every day that one gets treated to such a spectacle, so of course I stopped and turned to get a better look.

The fabled two-headed person that was in the store shopping with me was actually two people making out in Housewares. And no, they weren't teenagers. They appeared to be at least in their mid-20s. And no, they weren't just being affectionate in public. I can take that in small doses. From the looks of things, she had just learned she was ovulating, and they had only 4 minutes to close the deal before the window slammed on that opportunity. They were that, um, committed to what they were doing.

Am I getting old? Well yes I probably am, but this scenario has always made me feel uncomfortable. This is another topic I cover in more detail in the book. Is it possible that two people are so much in love that they really are completely unaware that there are onlookers – and they're making them very uncomfortable?

No. In my opinion, it all goes back to manners (or the lack thereof). Are you in love? Terrific. So am I, very much. I do not, however, feel compelled to give the general public an anatomy lesson using my husband as a visual aid. It's rude. It's inconsiderate. If you feel that strongly about letting the general public know that you are firmly attached to the person with whom you're walking, get matching t-shirts. Wear those kiddie leashes so there's no mistake about who's with whom. But please, I beg of you, spare us the graphic details.

That reminds me; I need to go hang my mistletoe.

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