Today, we're talking about nagging. Do I need to repeat that?

Nagging. What a word. I can't think of one single instance in which it might be used in a good way. "So nice nagging with you today, Molly, or "let's get together for lunch and nag one another soon!"  Just doesn't sound right. No, nagging is a term reserved typically for frustrated husbands as they refer to their wives' repetitive remarks on the same topic.

As one of those wives, I would like to try to re-train your thinking process with respect to nagging and other associated behaviors. I'm going to use a hypothetical example here, lest someone think I'm nagging for real.

When a wife asks her husband to do something, or when she reminds him to do something, the first time around she's not nagging. She's simply asking or reminding cordially."Honey, will you please hang that picture over the sofa? I can't hold it and hammer at the same time."  Now, when said husband does not do what his wife requested/asked, the wife feels compelled to request/ask again.

This second request could come an hour later, a week later or a month or so later. Depends on how badly she wants the picture hung."Honey, will you please hang that picture over the sofa for me?" The husband may grunt, may look straight at her and nod in the affirmative, or he may ignore her altogether. Depends on how long they've been married.

The third request comes after the husband has agreed the first two times but has yet to actually take any action. The wife's tone may sound more abrupt, and she may or may not drop the "please." Depends on how long they've been married and how patient she is.

The fourth time...well you get the picture. Now at this point, the husband may very well blow a gasket and say something sensible like, "You know, I'd be happy to do things for you if you'd just stop nagging!" And thus is propagated the legend of the nagging wife.

The way I see it, if the husband would either a) do what his wife asked when she asked it the first time, or b) tell her to forget it, not happening, no way, ever, the first time she asked, fair enough. At that point, there is no longer a need to repeat the request. At that point, said wife can move ahead, either lining up someone else to help her or returning the picture because she can't hang it by herself.

In short, it's not nagging when we keep asking the same thing BECAUSE IT NEVER GETS DONE. Now guys, I'll give you this - if your wife asks something of you that you do for her, and she for some reason runs around the house like a wind-up doll gone crazy continually asking for the same thing to be done over and over, by all means - CALL IT NAGGING. Otherwise, call it what it is. Your wife is asking for something that you simply dont feel like giving her, so you ignore her until she thinks she's the one going crazy.

There. Think about that the next time you accuse your wife of nagging.

*Disclaimer - no, this post is not about my personal life. Not today, anyway.