Do you ever find yourself amused (and amazed) by peoples' white trash antics?
Sure you do.
Southern Fried White Trash takes a humorous look at the unbelievable mindset of the national subculture (and Southern specialty) we affectionately refer to as "white trash."

Showing posts with label holidays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label holidays. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Holiday traditions evolve, and that's OK

Growing up as I did, one of many children with lots of aunts and uncles, holidays were always highlighted with big meals. Of course, Thanksgiving was the Queen Mother of all these spreads, but Easter was always right up there, too. My mom and my aunts would cook for days, everything made from scratch. For nearly thirty years, I have tried to live up to that legacy. A few years ago, I had an epiphany.



No matter how long a cook takes to prepare a  meal, no matter how many hard-to-find ingredients are required, no matter how great a  hand-me-down recipe may be, it still takes everyone about a half hour to eat the entire repast. That light bulb came on when my children were young and has grown brighter every year. Yes, my family appreciates my cooking but hey, what they don’t know won’t hurt them.



There are several bakeries out there who make better yeast rolls than I do, and I make a pretty mean roll. The Honey Baked Ham Company has me beat hands down in the main course department. Potato salad is sold in every store in the free world, and most of them taste the same - awful. Nobody in my family will eat it anyway. That leaves, say, baked beans (how hard can they be?), deviled eggs (my youngest daughter’s specialty)  and maybe a salad. I will make a dessert or two, just because I enjoy baking.



I had to check myself this year, as I almost crossed a line that I’m not sure I’m ready to cross yet. You see, I have a couple of book signings in Tennessee both Friday and Saturday this weekend, leaving me almost no time to prepare for the family and friends we’re expecting to celebrate with us on Sunday. Don’t get me wrong; it’s a good problem to have, but still…


I was in my local supermarket the other day, and I saw pre-colored eggs for sale. They weren’t the plastic ones you fill with surprises and hide; they were actual eggs someone else had dyed and packaged, probably last summer but I don’t know that for sure. I actually picked up a carton or two, then stopped myself.

 
The day I get too busy to dye Easter eggs is the day I’m way too busy. That vinegary smell and the hopelessly stained dog fur and little fingers that go with egg dyeing are all part of the experience. I can do without slaving in the kitchen; I won’t do without the family memories. Truth be told, I think I enjoy the activity more than the children ever did.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Wow. Raise your hand if you made it through another family holiday!

We did! And I don't say that for the typical reasons about which I often write. We had a whole new experience this year. You see, my Dad stayed at his retirement home and had brunch with my sister and niece. When he comes to my house for a holiday dinner, he no longer enjoys it like he used to. He complains about the cuisine, feeds my dogs from the table, says my house is too busy and noisy and wants to leave pretty much as soon as he eats. It's nerve-wracking.

No, this year my son's girlfriend and two babies stayed the weekend with us. Well, my son lives here anyway. His girlfriend is in the process of moving down here from north Georgia and needed a place to stay until the house was ready. So being the mean grouch that I am, I of course agreed.

The babies are 14 months and 2 1/2 years old. Within 15 minutes of their arrival, I was reminded of why God only gives women a set number of eggs, and they only stay viable for so long. Don't get me wrong; they aren't bad children. They're just little, very young. They don't understand that it's been 15+ years since my house was kid-proof. My dogs don't understand little creatures that run, crawl, clumb, pull, pinch and slobber on them. They were both very patient and never snapped, growled or even sighed too loud, but when they did get a brief break, they collapsed and slept like the dead. My husband periodically disappeared occasionally during their stay. I don't know where he went and I didn't ask. He's a wonderful man, but little little ones perplex him. I think they get on his nerves a bit, too.

The girlfriend and babies are at the new house cleaning, unpacking and preparing to move everything else in and stay there permanently. My dogs are grateful and relieved. I can tell. I am relishing the quiet as I never have before. I think I have scrubbed every little fingerprint, oatmeal blob and slobber trail left in my house, even though I believe they will return  here in just a few hours to spend one last night.

I have learned a few things about myself this weekend, and here goes:

- Yes, I still love holidays. Norman Rockwell would have been  a bit disappointed yet again, but it is what it is.
- I love babies, but only in small doses and when I can leave the room or hand them back when I've reached my limit.
- When the babies are my grandchildren someday, they can do as they please, and I will cherish every minute. Do-overs don't suck.
- Poopy diapers and barf are even more nauseating when your kid doesn't produce them.

Oh, Happy Easter!