Happy Mother's Day, to moms everywhere.

It's here again, Christmas in May for Moms. I love Mother's Day. My family spoils me rotten, and for at least one day out of the year, they go out of their way to make sure I know that they get it. That they got ALL of it - the teaching, the admonishing, the guiding and most of all the loving.

I've raised a couple of very good kids. Well, my husband and I have. And no, my husband is not their biological father. I can't tell you how many sleepless nights I've spent worrying that my divorcing their father would somehow screw up my children for the rest of their lives. It's a tough position to be in, and I will be the first to say, divorce is awful. Horrible. I do not recommend it unless NOT divorcing would be more harmful. In our case that was true, so I made the difficult decision to leave about 15 years ago, and I've never looked back.

I am happy to say that my children (now 19 and 21) are OK. Would I have preferred they be spared that nightmare? Yes, without a doubt. But I am a better mother and (I believe) their father is a better father under these circumstances. And I will also say that bringing my husband into the picture has only benefitted us all, and I mean immensely.

It can be done. It takes at least twice as much work, but raising well-adjusted children out of divorce can be done. My sincerest recommendation, however, is that no one marry until you're 30. What on earth does any of us know before then? And 30 may be cutting it close, but we women are on sort of a tight  schedule with respect to reproducing, so we'll let 30 stand. And if your mama has given you a "marrying material" checklist - and this applies to men as well as women - copy it. Laminate the copies. Stick one on your fridge, one on your car visor and one on your headboard. She knows what she's talking about.

A tale of love lost

I hesitated as to whether to blog today about the big V. Valentine's Day. You either love it or you hate it. I happen to be a fan of it; any excuse to buy my family little presents and get showered with goodies myself is a good excuse. I do, however, realize that not everyone is a fan of Cupid's Big Day. I love a good laugh though, so I'm going to share with you one of my all-time favorite Valentine's Day stories.

Several years back, my then brother-in-law was embroiled in a hot, steamy love affair. The woman reminded me a lot of Glenn Close. Oh not so much in appearance, but in deeds. Deeds pulled straight from the script of Fatal Attraction, to be more precise. This woman was a nut job rolled in a froot loop tied up in a straight jacket. Scary, on a good day. And my brother-in-law, God rest his soul, was not the sharpest tack in the pack. He just wasn't.

He and Glenn dated off and on for a couple of years,. She was either constantly plotting his murder or begging him to move in with her, depending on whether she'd had her medication that day. Finally, my brother-in-law acquiesced, and the wedding plans commenced. What he didn't know, and what none of her personalities had shared with him, is that she was married and had no intention of leaving her spouse.

As the big day approached, plans became more frenzied, as wedding preparations do. Glenn had told my bro-in-law that she had one little loose end to tie up, and she had to go to the courthouse to do it. Later that same evening, as my daughter and I walked through the mall, the bro-in-law, who was a hair stylist at the same mall, called out to me and pulled me and my daughter aside, He was absolutely beside himself, panicked and heartsick. "What's wrong?" I asked him with geniune concern. He looked as though he might need to sit down, so we found a bench.

"(Glenn) went to court today. She was afraid to tell me, but she's married. She had to go to court to get a divorce. But the judge told her that she had been tricked into signing a document that said she could never, ever divorce her husband because he's crazy." He was absolutely devastated. And he believed her.

I stood there, shaking my head and thinking to myself, "HE'S crazy? You and Glenn are in a runoff buddy." And so ended another epic love story.

My daughter, who was only 7 or 8 years old at the time, had the sense to ask me, "Mommy, what's wrong with him?"

I guess there truly is someone for everyone out there.