"Let's all go to the lobby..."

Remember that little ditty? Picture a box of Raisinets, a box of popcorn and, I think, a box of Dots or something. They were dancing across the screen in front of a concession stand admonishing movie-goers to get up, go out front and buy some over-priced snacks. Ahh, the good old days, when you could buy a box of popcorn and a Coke for a mere $5 or so.

My husband and I went to see two movies this weekend. Yes, it was a rainy, cold, miserable weekend in Hotlanta, so we went to the mall, did some mindless shopping and saw two flicks. Let me help you out with the math, so you can  understand why I'm about to go off on a tangent.

PER movie:  (2) movie tickets - $22.00. Popcorn and drinks (and mine was water, for pete's sake) - $22.75.

Now, the theatre was packed for both movies, as they both began showing just this weekend. About 5 minutes after the first movie started, a trio of young women sidled into the theatre, stared straight at me and seemed to make a beeline right toward me. I was sitting in the middle of a long row packed with people and saving a seat for my husband, as he spends about a third of his life in the bathroom these days. It's a guy thing. Anyway, these three lock eyes with me and, stepping over 10 or 15 other movie-goers (who were also unfashionably "on time" for the movie), they come and sit right next to me.

I politely stated that I was saving a seat for my husband, and they rudely ignored waht I said. So I scooted down a seat and put my purse in the seat I had just vacated. I like my space. As soon as they got seated, the three women started pulling snacks out of their purses and shopping bags, and everything they brought was wrapped in loud, crackly paper. Twizzlers, chips, giant Snickers bars, large soft drinks that fizzed and overflowed when they were opened. They had prepared for this little outing, all right. They had enough food to survive out in the wild for months if necessary.

Now these three women talked non-stop to each other, sometimes about the movie, sometimes about completely random stuff. They whispered, yes, but have you ever heard people whisper when it'd be quieter for them to shout out loud?  They did.

The more they snapped, crackled, popped, fizzed and talked, the madder I got. My husband and I took turns leaning over and looking at them in a manner that obviously said, "SHUT UP."  They ignored us. I looked over at them and asked whether they thought they were sitting in their living room. They ignored me.  I thought better of pushing it beyond that. The young woman sitting next to my husband tipped the scales at an easy 400 lbs and had an attitude.

So we spent about $50 (not counting the mindless shopping that led up to the movie) just so we could hear these three inconsiderate women, critique, explain and repeat all the lines in "Limitless."

The next day, when we went to see "Lincoln Lawyer," we sat in front of a kid who had a very upset stomach. That's enough said about that.